The Cancer Observer

I have some good, bad and ugly news to report – and a mix of all of these.

The good news is, Mom is a bit better today at Hillcrest and she had a nice talk with Aunt Tina and Uncle Bruce while they visited in from Toledo this afternoon. More good news, I also had a chance to catch up with the family after their visit…

Just in case you can’t believe there is more positive to report, there is! I successfully and happily celebrated my monumental birthday with my friends in Cleveland! My new place is clean and organized (at least as far as all my guests could see) and we had a lot of fun relaxing on the patio and sharing great stories and making new memories….

And more good news, the Jersey Boys was fantastic. Dad and I went to see it Wednesday night at the State Theatre at Playhouse Square. It is the story from four different perspectives about the members of the Four Seasons. Mom really wanted to see it, but it just wasn’t going to happen. Her strength is improving, but there won’t be outings any time soon… However… if YOU can see it, you MUST! What a blast!

Bad news is – you guessed it from the good line – Mom is back in the hospital. She had extreme nausea and was throwing up and after a call to the doctors, it was decided to admit her to the hospital again on Friday afternoon. Dad spent the day taking care of everything again and by the time I got there early evening, she was exhausted, but was hooked up to an IV and at least she had hydration and pain medication.

Keep saying your prayers. She was a bit better yesterday and a bit better today, so we are hoping for the best. Back to work tomorrow and soon we will be saying:

Happy July!!

Just days after I was able to honor Dad and Mom at a Relay – and Dad walked in the Relay holding the survivors’ banner, I’m sad to report that Mom has been admitted to the hospital again. Here we are, back at Hillcrest, wishing that Mom would not have to be so uncomfortable all the time, but knowing that none of us have power to control the cancer growing inside of her.

The phrase worst fears realized is unfortunately describing how I’m feeling today. The results of the CT scan from last week are really frightening.

Everyone knows that there is a possibility of death by cancer, but as an active American Cancer Society volunteer I’ve always been surrounded by beautiful stories of hope and survivorship and really was praying for the ‘miracle’ cancer cure to be presented to my Mom in a beautifully wrapped package. I have remained optimistic for many months and even a year, but over the last few months things have steadily gotten worse.

Mom struggles every day, more and more. Dad and I are doing our best to cope here – together and in our own ways – but the tumors are growing and Mom is too weak for treatment to stop them from growing. I have to say, more than anything I’m pissed off.

I’m pissed that such a wonderful strong woman has been shrunken down a skinny shell of her former self, a woman who loves to eat more often feels pain and discomfort and nausea than she feels like putting food in her body to keep her going, that I have been in Cleveland for six months and not once has Mom been able to see my home or meet my friends because she’s been so ill and most of all, I’m pissed because it just doesn’t seem fair.

I want to share the speech I’ve given now twice at my Troy, Michigan Relay along with the recent Relay at Hillcrest, about why I spend so much time volunteering and why I want to FIGHT BACK AGAINST CANCER! My orange shirt means I’m part of the committee in this picture, and the purple means that Dad is a survivor. My dream in the last 18 months has been to see Mom better and wearing a purple shirt and being able to end this speech differently, because she was there.

Mary’s Fight Back Speech 

First of all, I’m glad to be home. I’m originally from Cleveland, but have been gone for 17 years, most recently from Detroit, where I discovered Relay and became a Chair for the event there. Here I’m helping out as the advocacy chair.

I’m honored to share with you my story and tell you how each one of us can make a difference and Fight Back – not just today but for the next 364 days of the year. Our Relay is only 18 hours, but cancer affects people in our community 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – all 365 days! As part of the advocacy position my responsibility is to help you find ways to Fight Back against cancer. Let me tell you why I Relay!

My family was gathered together for Christmas back in 2006 – I had driven in from Detroit, and my brother and his wife came a bit farther to join us from Panama.

Things seemed like a typical holiday celebration but what we didn’t know was that Mom wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to ruin the holidays. She said she just had a stomachache. Back in 2002, Mom survived a rare cancer discovered in the fallopian tube by having four rounds of chemo, losing her hair and some nausea, but only took off four days off work the whole time – the four days she had her chemo treatments. Mom was a trouper for sure.

So, after the holidays were over, Mom went to her oncologist, Dr. Rose at Hillcrest, and had a CAT scan. They scheduled her for exploratory surgery on January 25, 2007. She went into surgery and I got the call from my Dad saying the procedure was over and Mom was in recovery. Unfortunately there was other news too: the cancer had returned, this time in the colon and the abdomen.

Even though I knew that cancer has no judgment of color, religion, age or strength of character, I was in shock. I’m an extremely optimistic person and didn’t want to hear about these tumors invading my wonderful, strong Mother. I was at work when I heard the news, immediately drove home, threw bags in the car and picked up my dog – making what would be the first of many Detroit to Cleveland drives over the next many months.

Mom had six inches of her colon re-sected and all the tumors removed in that surgery – and she slowly recovered from the surgery. At that time, the pain was excruciating and she told me that she would rather die than have a colostomy, because if this is what it hurt like now, it could only get worse.

After an allergic reaction to a medicine caused a white blood cell problem, chemo had to be delayed. So five months later, when her first round of chemo began, there were already new tumors. Now, fast forward to today, 18 months after this initial surgery, Mom has had four types of chemo and one round of radiation – more than anyone should have to endure. She officially retired in December as the Chair of the CSU Nursing program, but continued to work up until just a few months ago. In April, she was too weak to have more chemo and was having more stomach problems – the doctors gave her no choice – she had to have surgery to have a colostomy. To say the least, as I’ve shared with you, she did not want this, but she is adjusting now at home after a two week stay in the hospital. The last visit to Hillcrest made it clear that she needs to gain strength as the doctors are again wanting to start another round of chemo.

 My Mom is only 65. She was looking forward to a retirement. My family, along with so many of you and your families are going through these kinds of situations and the only way I’ve been able to cope is with the strength and love of my family and friends – and today leading you in a message of hope that we can FIGHT BACK AGAINST CANCER!

 Thank you all for being here and participating in this Hillcrest Relay – let’s get warmed up to Fight really quick by this quick exercise and then I’ll tell you what we are going to do.

 Behind me the banners read Celebrate Remember and Fight Back – the pillars of our Relay that we’ve almost completed. As we head out I want you to get excited to Fight Back. Repeat after me…

Celebrate – Remember – Fight Back!

Now I want you to think about what you can do for your family and friends for the next 364 days of the year.

At this point, I asked people to sign a pledge card and they made a pledge to Fight Back. I thought it was pretty powerful stuff. I add on here today with my hopes and dreams in the world of battling cancer. Below was my audience for the speech in Troy. I do not have pictures from the Hillcrest Relay of the speech. I think it was powerful in person, hope this does it justice in a blog!

I want my Aunt Nancy to get her colonoscopy, because she is ten years overdue. I know she is scared because of Mom’s cancer, but too bad. Get it done!

I want anyone who smokes to stop, because lung cancer is one of the cancers that sometimes is preventable. I’m not saying it is easy or simple to do, but it COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE. Just do it!

I want to smack people who don’t wear sunscreen, because it can make a huge difference in preventing skin cancer. Also preventable.

I want our legislators to make cancer prevention and treatment a funded priority for all men and women and children of all income levels, because no one should have to make a choice to treat cancer or to buy groceries or pay rent. Everyone should have a chance to live.

Most of all, I pray for a miracle for Mom. If I can’t have one, I want her to be comfortable. Her pain grows daily and Dad and I and Kris (and all our family and friends) hurt every moment of every day.

If you can…. make a difference too. I think together, maybe we can prevent another family from going through what we are facing today.

18 hours of a Relay…. done.

Normally, those who know me, would know that after I rested up, I would be thinking about all the things I’d want to do for the next year, starting the process of writing thank you notes, telling the world of the success of the event and feeling great about all the things I’ve done for the American Cancer Society.

Unfortunately, this event didn’t inspire me like my Troy Relays have. But, not to worry, my team still did well, I got employees to create a sponsorship for my company, my friends and family supported my work and I recruited my colleague Nancy to be on the committee and to form a team and that raised a good amount of money too. That, along with the matching funds by a team member, are equaling nearly $5000 of the money raised for an event that raised $51,000 total! Not bad for my efforts I would say. And all that money goes to the American Cancer Society in the hope that they will be properly funded to make a difference.

I gave my fight back speech at this event in front of my team members and friends and it went really well. I’m going to post that eventually on here for all of you to see. I think together we can make a difference – I just didn’t feel the love with this Relay. I am evaluating my options and taking time to unpack and organize in the new place. Maybe I will try to have some fun this summer!!!

Just spoke with my Dad and he said the doctors have now scheduled Mom for a CAT scan next week and then are expecting to start another round of chemotherapy the following week on Tuesday June 17.

Mom has been better some days and then other days has not felt as well, but overall we have seen her improving, which is a blessing. However, I’m just not sure that her body is ready for more chemo!

Dr. Rose says ‘EAT’ and she is doing her best, but she still has very little body weight left after fighting through all the other rounds of chemo (i think this will be the FIFTH TYPE they’ve tried in the last 18 months) along with those 10 shots of radiation. I am happy to drive any type of food over there if she will eat it – if she craves it, she will have it. Luckily for Wendy’s and Arby’s, she tends to crave them a lot! I just want her to put good quality things in her body so it builds her strength as that has decreased so much over the last few months and through the colostomy surgery.

The other issue is the CAT scan. Pray that the tumors are shrinking. Of course we fear there are more and  they may be growing in different areas of the abdomen, colon and liver. Pray, people. Pray hard and fast for my Mom’s health. I will keep up my role as comedic relief in trying to get her mind off things by telling her all my adventures, but I’ve been doing so much work with the American Cancer Society of late, it is hard not to bring up the Relay, but maybe it encourages her because she knows I’m fighting for her behind the scenes. I really don’t know. My hope lies in the belief that my work and fundraising for ACS will someday eliminate cancer and our children and grandchildren will say ‘what WAS cancer’ in their studies of history.

I will keep you up to date on Mom, Dad, brother Kris and I as this fight continues. Thank you for caring to read my stories. 

While it is hard to believe, I’ve already been in Ohio for six months – in fact six months exactly today on June 5th!

However, it didn’t really feel like a permanent situation with so many moving parts: My house had been on the market since November, I was house-sitting for Mary D. in a house way too big for Riley and I, I was in constant motion between work and Chagrin Falls and Hillcrest Hospital to see and be an advocate for Mom and that doesn’t even take into account my newfound love for yoga (visit www.atmacenter.com for more on my new home away from home as I’m studying this practice) and all the other social activities I was required to attend.

Okay, so I wasn’t necessarily always required to do certain things, but I still tried to fit in some fun social engagements in between all the craziness to keep my sanity and, I won’t lie, to enjoy some nice adult beverages with my long-time and new friends alike.

But I digress…. So what has happened that makes you say bye to Michigan and hello to Ohio, you ask?

MY HOUSE HAS BEEN SOLD TO A VERY LUCKY BUYER IN ROYAL OAK!!! It is done and over and I am so glad to no longer be a homeowner. I can’t say I’m feeling the benefits to renting yet (see next post for the drama an oven can cause), but imagine when I write a couple more rent checks that don’t include insurance, interest and property tax, I will start to feel the change in a good way!

I packed up my entire house and loaded into onto a semi-truck (Debbie M. and I did the packing of things, what my renter hadn’t already packed for me – go Kim D. – and the lovely folks from Fridrich Moving (http://www.fridrichmoving.com) did the lifting and moving), I now have all of my stuff in one place and am surrounded by my lovely furniture and memories that go along with my belongings. I can’t say enough nice things about this company. They were great on both sides of the move….

As comes with moving, having your stuff in one place can still create difficulties. It is especially hard to manage when you can’t find your underwear or a dress to wear to work, but I’ve managed to be at least somewhat professionally dressed in the meantime. (Peanut Gallery (JF) I know what you are thinking and stop it, immediately).

My new place rocks (for the most part)! The best part I mentioned before is the ability to walk to all important locations – including a very fancy grocery store that carries all sort of exotic beers and wines. (Editor’s note: As I read back through this post and others I realize that I talk about drinking a lot. I’m a connoisseur for the record and appreciate quality, not quantity, when it comes to all varieties of beer and wine. Liquor is another story. Editor’s side note: Shoes are a different story – Quantity beats quality because you can never have enough shoes.) I also have become a big fan of Deweys’ house salad and might have walked by there after Monday night’s yoga class to have a salad and then been convinced to share some drinks and conversation with a friend and the wait staff. I think the beer and all the goat cheese on the salad kills the health factor, but yet again, another post for another day! It certainly wasn’t a pizza or a burger, so I’m counting it as healthy.

The Troy Relay For Life was last weekend and I was blessed to be ask to participate and host a couple of events. Soon there will be a post on that event with some great pictures, including some great ones involving the ever popular ‘Mr. Relay’ contest, which is fundraiser in which men dress as women and no one ridicules them for it, rather they get paid. It is a phenomenon. The Relay here they are calling it Miss Relay and it is still in planning stages, but I will document the extent of the humor in a future post. All I want to say now: One down, one to go.

Seeing my friends in Michigan – spending most of my time with the Troy Relay buddies – was a wonderful gift and blessing. (see the top of the page for the Thank You section detailing how much I appreciate my peeps!) Debbie M. was our volunteer 24 hour DJ for Troy and the successful and admirable BEST CHAIR EVER of the Dearborn Relay For Life for the last several years. Not only does she literally ‘rock’ as the DJ, I have learned so much from her about how to manage an event and to care for something and what it means. Curing cancer will happen thanks to the efforts of Debbie and so many of my friends out there who Relay! Keep praying and keep donating. http://main.acsevents.org/goto/marym

Ms. Gina is the rockin’ online chair and big part of Bob’s Banana, Funke is the glue that holds the world together with her kind heart and lovely outlook on the life, Megan is my honorary ACS person forever because NO ONE CAN DO WHAT SHE HAS DONE FOR RELAY ever again, Pam is my idol, confidant and everything supporter Danny J. (my back therapist) is the one that keeps me healthy physically (and keeps me laughing) so I can physically keep up with myself!

More to come on many fronts, but now my lunch time is over and it is back to working for the now largest Public Relations Firm in Cleveland, according to Crain’s Cleveland. What I already knew was it was the best…and continues to be a wonderful place to meet and serve great clients!

While my home is now sold in Michigan, and I am back to permanent Cleveland, Ohio resident status, I will NEVER forget or lose touch with my wonderful friends in the great state of Michigan. I may be disowned for using Michigan in a sentance that is positive, but it is a chance I’m willing to take.