I’m currently sitting in Mom’s private hospital room at Hillcrest which is part of the Cleveland Clinic, where Mom is sleeping on and off with the assistance of strong pain meds. I want to first thank Molly and Andie who helped manage this request for privacy. For those of you who don’t know my Mom, she has a Ph.D in Gerontology and has just retired from Cleveland State University as the Chair of the Nursing Department. Ironically, my Mom will not tell the nurses who care for her that she is an R.N., has her Ph.D or built CSU’s nursing program. She thinks that would be bragging, but believe me, when things go badly, as they sometimes do in a hospital, I want them to know to be on their toes! I am proud to be one of her advocates during this stay in the hospital. As a side note, if you ever have a sick relative, you will soon understand the necessity and importance of this role: advocate.

Mom is still getting used to the whole idea of having a colostomy and we all know this is going to be a tough road to learn. However, people live for years with colostomies and once they get used to what all it entails, I believe she will get back to doing many of the things she used to love to do, like plant flowers, walk around the neighborhood in the summer, go to great restaurants, enjoy the theatre and work with her loved colleagues.

There are days when Mom’s feistiness is a sign of healing… it makes those of us who know her well know that she still has a fight in her, while just a few weeks ago it seemed that she had given up hope. Modern medicine clearly still has its flaws, but thank God for good insurance and thank God that I was able to move home and be here to do what I can to help!

A wonderful friend just told Mom that cancer sometimes is said to take on the characteristics of its host – in Mom’s case she is running at all times (fast), she’s without a doubt stubborn and has always been determined. One might argue the value of these traits in general but beside the stubbornness, we can agree they do fit my Mom. Unfortunately, those same traits in cancer are not good – and indeed, that is how it is behaving. It is stubborn, determine and fast – It keeps growing despite four rounds of chemo and ten treatments of radiation. Her body has been tortured and rearranged, all in an effort to heal… We just keep hoping for the best.

While normally each visit to the hospital and the doctor is painful for Mom and for our family, I have hope that this colostomy and whatever the next treatment is determined to be will make a difference and prolong her life in a positive way. You know I love my Mama!