The Cancer Observer

Dad and I would prefer to be doing things like this – spending time at the Indy 500 in free seats, free hotel, free everything – and we did this a few Memorial Days ago in Indianapolis. But on this Memorial Day weekend we did a few other things, like sitting on the back porch with Mom and being glad she could walk out of the bedroom onto the back porch – as this is a huge step in her health today….

So what the heck is Mary talking about with the toilet you ask?
Mom’s bathroom has a very low toilet and she has been so weak that she’s having trouble getting up of it, which meant it was time to find a medical supply store and get this taken care of… Remember when I wrote about nurses and nurse’s aides? Well blessed are your friends when they do something special for you. I knew I had a long day of work ahead of me yesterday and was stressed out about how to make a trip to a far away medical supply store, when my friend Karen took on this task and found exactly what we needed.
I met her last night at her Mom’s house, then I drove out to Mom and Dad’s house and Dad assisted me in assembling and installing this elevated toilet seat with great handlebars, that allow her to push herself up! So much better. The funniest part of all of this is that I was wearing a full black suit, leaning over a toilet trying to install it (you have to take off the seat and lid, put the booster on and then put the seat and lid back on top of that) and at the same time deciding it needed cleaning because you are seeing hard to reach places!
We got it done, Dad said he was proud of my toilet skills, and for once he wasn’t talking about my ‘potty’ mouth!
Mom says it helps….
BTW, Dr. Rose (oncologist) told her to continue to eat and build up her strength and he needs her strong again to begin another round of chemo to fight the tumors that still exist! AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! Yuck. More to come I’m sure.
Toilet warrior, signing off for now.

This is one of my all-time favorite pictures of Mom. Okay, maybe not of all time, but certainly of the time I’ve had this computer and stored digital images on here. See below for description: This other picture on the top right is when I went to Celebration on the Hill as part of the American Cancer Society’s Legislative Ambassador program. We were celebrating the agreement of our Michigan Representatives and Senators to support our vital cancer initiatives! Very fun. My mind wanders, hence, you will wander with me… Back to Mom….

The original picture is this one: Then with his infinite love and affection for Mom, Riley gave her a big, stinky kiss and her happy and normal face turned into the funniest moment of Riley love!

Update on Riley: He came through his oral surgery just fine, but I was told he was a ‘drama-queen’ by the vet’s office. He cried, and whined and made all sorts of noise for two days. Today, he is back to his normal self. Acting all quiet and sweet when no one is looking – then snapping at Izzy and J.J. and making sure they are aware the old man is back in charge! (We are staying with my friend Ron & Karen while the transition is happening from house(s) to new place and he loves it here – so do I!)

Back to Mama… Here is one that has to do with all my work with the American Cancer Society and the HOPE to find a cure someday!

 This was one of miles of banners from all over the U.S. and other countries that also participate in Relay For Life around the world.

There was a HUGE AMOUNT OF HOPE in our hearts when people raise money, because together, we might be able to make a difference.

 Keep praying and if you haven’t already, get involved. With all that is happening, it keeps me somewhat sane to know that I can get involved. I’ll be back in Michigan working on my first love, my Troy Relay For Life and then helping out with the Hillcrest Relay For Life, when I can get away from home for a little while!

Click on my site and donate if you so desire… Together we will make a difference.

More to come – as always.

Grandpa D.- Happy Memorial Day. I love you and miss you!!!!

*** Check out the new page “Thank YOU” on the top right corner, next to About the Author…***

After two weeks in the hospital, the doctors say that Mom will be coming home Wednesday afternoon.

When this happens… I will make sure to give you an update on how she is doing. They put in a pick line (not sure I’m spelling this right) but that has allowed them to have IV fluids in whenever they want and she will have that in for up to a year, if all goes well and it keeps working. So far this has eliminated several sticks and Mom’s veins are shot, so hopefully this will eliminate one more type of pain for her.

Today I snuck in Arby’s because Mom had a craving for a sub sandwich from there. Cravings are a great sign that her body is on the right track – and that I can believe she’ll eat and drink at home because she will feel like something might taste good! We are a food-lovin family…. I hope we can get back to that soon and put some weight back on Mom’s body!

Okay, so maybe the lilac/lavender color I picked for my bedroom was a solid purple, but the rest of the colors turned out beautifully! There are all sorts of fun shades of blue, green, purple and of course, the kitchen will catch your eye with a bright red.

Most importantly, I am walking distance to my favorite places locally, the Cedar-Lee Theatre, the Atma Center, friends James and Martha, which all in their own ways part of my healthy lifestyle!

It will be a week before I actually live in my new place because my furniture still lives in Detroit… Coming soon, Mary, her crap and furniture! Very exciting.

Once I get through all the American Cancer Society Relays (Troy, MI and Mayfield, OH) and the moving – it will be time for my birthday and a housewarming party!

Mom’s doctors came to their senses and put her back on IV fluids on Saturday morning.

By the time I arrived at 5:30 on Saturday, she had color in her face, our friend Kaye was visiting and they were having a nice conversation, we all talked and Mom had her normal fight back in her. While on Friday night I took breaks in the hall to cry and try to not let Mom see me upset (because she never sees that – I try to stay strong for her, like the little trooper I am), Saturday was a whole different ballgame. Apparently they gave her the power-pack of IV fluids in the morning and by the afternoon they were back to some basic nutrients, but it didn’t take an rocket scientist (or oncologist) to see that she wasn’t eating or drinking and something had to be done! But what do I know? I’m just a journalist and communicator – not a physician!

So, she did look much better and felt much better. Dad arrived shortly after I did and she ate a few bites of food from the items on her plate, which is progress. She complains about hospital food, but nurse Colleen (see last post) said that nothing will smell or taste good at first, that her body has to get use to eating again, since she has had a bad relationship with food due to digestive problems over the last many months. Time runs together a lot, but when Kris and Magaly (brother and sister-in-law in Panama) were here in January, we went out for a big dinner. That may have been the last time we went out – but throughout the winter Dad brought Mom some great foods to try – and I would try to do every Sunday out at their house with some sort of culinary treat from different restaurants, since they both seemed to enjoy that. But over the last couple of months, Mom could eat less and less and more foods would make her feel bad, so she didn’t really want to eat anything.

Now I know, once she gets home (no idea when that will be) that she is basically allowed to eat anything but seeds (think strawberries are out, but canned fruits are fine as the processing takes seeds out) and while she is talking about eating hamburgers, we’ll see how that really pans out.

My Mom is a tough lady, but that doesn’t mean she is immune to fear. We all have fears, but obviously fear of how her body will react to the colostomy is huge. I think after seeing the difference one day (and IV fluids and food) can make, we are addressing fears together and making strides towards acceptance of her condition and getting her home.

Keep your prayers coming friends!!! We still need them. Please let me know what you think and what else I could address in my blog.  

What a difference a good nurse can make in the hospital!

It has all become clear why Mom (and Aunt Tina) have made nursing their chosen profession. My two favorite angels today are Colleen and JeLinda at Hillcrest.

Mom has had some good days and bad days, but none worse than Friday night when I came to see her after working all day downtown. On Thursday the doctors removed the IV fluids with the advice that she needed to eat and drink on her own and this was hindering not helping her progress. For those of you who know Mom, you would never describe her as thin. But at entering the hospital for the colostomy she only weighed 126 pounds and on Friday was 122 pounds. Believe me when I tell you she doesn’t have a single more pound to lose.

Colleen had a long talk with Mom explaining that she felt nauseous and terrible because she was not eating, not that eating was causing the nausea. The cycle in continuous in colostomy surgeries – if you don’t eat, you feel sick. Once you start eating (and drinking liquids) you start to feel better and your newly designed interior system (i.e. the redirected colon) will start working properly. Colleen has a way with words and really got through to Mom. If she didn’t eat and drink soon, they were going to take some drastic measures and they were ones Mom wouldn’t like. I didn’t understand any of the medical terminology they discussed, but it sure scared Mom. The next day, the doctor came in and saw how weak she was and put her back on IV fluids.

I had to leave the room a couple of times because I was incredibly scared about what was happening to Mom. She had no strength, she has hanging skin on bones and as much as I like seeing the nice folks at Hillcrest, you can imagine, this is not an image I want to see anymore. I want her to improve, go home and give the colostomy a chance. I think she will be able to ‘get used to it’ as much as you can, and her life will be so much more comfortable! She is already saying how it has eased the pain. We’ll see what happens next.

Today in between visits to see Mom in the hospital and other adventures, I met my best friend Karen (in the real sense, not some Paris Hilton BFF bull)  at my new place to sign the lease, show her the place and ask for her expert advice on paint colors, room arrangements and all things decorating and organizing.

It is exciting to know that I will be back in a place I can call my own  I will be able to find some new furniture and reunite with the rest of my items that still reside in Michigan. All in all, this is pretty darn exciting. Not to mention, my new place has a fantastic huge balcony ripe for parties and adventures this summer. Can’t wait to be ‘moved in’ and enjoying the new haunts. With two Relays (one in MI is 24 hours and the Hillcrest one here is 18 hours) in the next month, I hope to feel much more ‘settled’ as we draw these fundraising events to a close. I think it is time to re-evaluate my activities… but alas, that is a whole new post.

And, not to forget when it comes to the house, Riley will have a new neighborhood full of trees to pee on. Let’s face it. That is truly all he cares about.  If Riley is happy, the world is too. In case you weren’t aware, the guy doesn’t talk, pay the bills or otherwise in any way contribute to my livelihood, but he clearly runs my life!

I’m currently sitting in Mom’s private hospital room at Hillcrest which is part of the Cleveland Clinic, where Mom is sleeping on and off with the assistance of strong pain meds. I want to first thank Molly and Andie who helped manage this request for privacy. For those of you who don’t know my Mom, she has a Ph.D in Gerontology and has just retired from Cleveland State University as the Chair of the Nursing Department. Ironically, my Mom will not tell the nurses who care for her that she is an R.N., has her Ph.D or built CSU’s nursing program. She thinks that would be bragging, but believe me, when things go badly, as they sometimes do in a hospital, I want them to know to be on their toes! I am proud to be one of her advocates during this stay in the hospital. As a side note, if you ever have a sick relative, you will soon understand the necessity and importance of this role: advocate.

Mom is still getting used to the whole idea of having a colostomy and we all know this is going to be a tough road to learn. However, people live for years with colostomies and once they get used to what all it entails, I believe she will get back to doing many of the things she used to love to do, like plant flowers, walk around the neighborhood in the summer, go to great restaurants, enjoy the theatre and work with her loved colleagues.

There are days when Mom’s feistiness is a sign of healing… it makes those of us who know her well know that she still has a fight in her, while just a few weeks ago it seemed that she had given up hope. Modern medicine clearly still has its flaws, but thank God for good insurance and thank God that I was able to move home and be here to do what I can to help!

A wonderful friend just told Mom that cancer sometimes is said to take on the characteristics of its host – in Mom’s case she is running at all times (fast), she’s without a doubt stubborn and has always been determined. One might argue the value of these traits in general but beside the stubbornness, we can agree they do fit my Mom. Unfortunately, those same traits in cancer are not good – and indeed, that is how it is behaving. It is stubborn, determine and fast – It keeps growing despite four rounds of chemo and ten treatments of radiation. Her body has been tortured and rearranged, all in an effort to heal… We just keep hoping for the best.

While normally each visit to the hospital and the doctor is painful for Mom and for our family, I have hope that this colostomy and whatever the next treatment is determined to be will make a difference and prolong her life in a positive way. You know I love my Mama!

I had a chance to attend an employee communication conference for an organization called Council of Communication Management (CCM), of which I’ve been a members for two years now. Traveling to and from Toronto is funny that the flight is only 45 minutes, but you have to get to the airport on both sides 2 hours in advance and all the malarky that goes with clearing customs on the way back. Regardless, fun adventures ensued, as one can only imagine. Communication professionals are surprisingly un-shy.

While I really missed the few days away from the office (not at all!) I did really miss every day contact with Mom and Dad. While I’m aware there is a thing called the phone in Canada, my cell service was charging me a second mortgage to call so I concentrated on learning as much as I could and meeting as many people as I could at the conference. That and taking part in every meal and adult beverage opportunity possible.

We did have one exciting surprise event – and for me who loves charitable work and finding the ‘good’ in everyone, it was a blessing.

We were able to work together on a huge act of humanitarianism by packing and shipping supply kits that will be given to volunteer caretakers in Africa of the many AIDS victims who have no access to any healthcare and are living in dire conditions. I will post pictures of what we did and more information on the group sponsoring it. The company is called World Vision and their kits are called caregiver kits. We were surprised by the event and amazed at what our small group could do together to make a difference. I think we packed 300 caregiver kits in 30 minutes. This is hard to believe and the best part was that we got to write a thank you note to the caregiver for all they are doing to help someone else. Just imagine, taking care of your family all day – then walking to another village to take care of another person who is very ill, and sometimes even take care of their children at the same time. It was beautiful. There is a video showing how a group of thousands of employees packed and sent tens of thousands of these as a team building activity for a good cause. Their Web site is www.worldvision.org/wvcarekits for more info! More to come on this.

I also met some incredible professionals from all over the world, hopefully gaining some great knowledge and sharing time with colleagues in the world of internal (employee) communications. I also reconnected with peeps I met last year in Memphis and colleagues I’ve worked with in the past – and hopefully made some great new friends! I’m bummed it is over and I’m back to my reality.

How about that? I learned, gave and had a great time – all at this year’s CCM conference. Cool, eh?

I apologize for the delay on getting this out to everyone.

I sincerely appreciate all your thoughts and prayers in the last year and a half – can you believe Mom’s diagnosis was in late January 2007? She, and the rest of our family, are suffering greatly from this horrible disease. As always, check out my Web site under the link to the right and see the work I’m doing for the American Cancer Society so more people don’t have to deal with this dreaded disease. 

Mom’s latest adventure is one that she never wanted to have - A colostomy surgery. There have been additional tumors found in the colon and it was mostly blocked, so the doctors inform this surgery will happen on Thursday (May 8). We are hopeful that removing the colon will ease Mom’s pain, but it comes along with all the other fears of what a colostomy entails. We just keep praying that it won’t be too hard to handle and while a pain, it will allow to eat and have an appetite again, while eliminating part of the pain.

Mom has lost more than 60 pounds since January ‘07 and that is just no good. My family and I all share the love of good food and not being able to share in a meal has been tough on Mom.

Mom received two awards last week, one for her hard work and excellence while retiring from Cleveland State University (CSU) and the other from NEONI, a nursing organization in Cleveland. She was able to accept this Lifetime Achievement Award in person – and the award came on her 45th anniversary of graduating from nursing school! My Dad has been awesome in helping my Mom get to all her appointments, to all the award ceremonies and to just about anywhere else she would need to go – but it is tough for him too.

We are all so grateful to all of our friends and family who have been incredibly supportive throughout these last 15 months. My brother was able to come home and surprise Mom for a long weekend a while back and surprised she was… because he lives in Panama. It was wonderful to all be together!

Please pray that the surgery goes well on Thursday and, as always, pray for a miracle.

If you have a story to share about Cancer, I would love to hear from you. As a journalist by trade, writing is allowing me to cope and I would love to hear from you too!